Camel

Two commandoes fall out'a the jungle. They sit down for a rest. One takes out a
pack of cigarettes wishing smoke but they're all completely wet. Second commando
takes out a pack of cigarettes too and each cigarette is put into a condom and
they're dry. The first commando catches the idea and next time before new raid
to jungle he comes to a drug-store and asks for some condoms. A shop-keeper asks
him back:
- For man, for woman?
- No, for "Camel".
- Oh, king size, king size...

I am sorry your majesty

One completely drunk man stood under the Nelson's Column and poured off.
A bobby came up to him and said:
- Excuse me, sir. But it's the Nelson's Column...
- I fuck your Nelson!
- Excuse me, sir. But it's a public place...
- I fuck your public!
- Excuse me, sir. But the Queen has a promenade here sometimes.
- I fuck your queen!!!
- Indeed?!
- In bed!
- Oh, I am sorry your majesty!

GirlFriend

A guy came to his girlfriend in the evening. They are planning to go somewhere
and girl's mother says to guy:
- I don't want her to be late this night. Don't walk for too long.
Guy answers:
- Don't worry, mam. I'll personally put her to bed at 10 p.m.

How Do You Do

- How do you do!
- Thanks. My do is well!

Funny Dialogue

One funny dialogue from the tape for those, who's studying English:

- That's the question to Dr. Hamilton.
- What's the question?
- Here the question: Is there any person in the world, whom you'd like to stay
with more than with any other person?
- Is my wife in the audience?

Policeman

In the park, somewhere in London one gentleman sits on the grass, kissing young
girl. Policeman comes to them and says:
- Finish, guy!
Gentleman answers with pride:
- No, sir! I'm British!